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When asked, he can explain the individual reason for each one he saved.
She just has a blanket belief that someone who has been sexually abused is damaged in a specific way and requires a certain kind of medical attention.
She is so unwilling to take your case on its merits that she is bullying you about this. You make a very important point that dredging up the past is not cost-free.
A: Women routinely change their last names and no one thinks they’ve lost their minds. You’re right that a break in your career is a good time to do it because you will have a group of people who will know you by nothing but your new moniker, or Monica.
With everyone else you just say, “I’ve gone through life being a Gertrude who felt like a Monica, and now I’m going to become Monica.” But you must give people who have known you for four decades some leeway in making this switch.
There’s no way to avoid this, and you will have to have some prepared remarks along the lines of this being a wrenching decision that had nothing to do with your husband’s illness and leave it at that.