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Could I be naked, or cloaked, dominant or submissive with them?

Which led me to the complex ethical conundrum around vegan BDSM: If I am looking for a ‘non-violent’ person whose level of empathy and compassion overrides any carnivorous cravings, then why exactly would I be interested in a person whose overarching sexual need or even identity involves causing or receiving pain and humiliation?

What does one wear to a vegan BDSM meet-up – especially when it’s not an actual workshop, but rather a plain old dinner party?

As soon as I entered the room (after nervously backing into rather loud Indian brass chimes with my bike bag), I realised I had not thought enough about my wardrobe. And I was standing there, smelling like a BDSM virgin in my colourful , washed-out denim skirt and bright purple and orange Guru sweatshirt. The first hour was definitely awkward – the old trick of ‘just picture everyone naked’ seemed ill-fitting in this context.

Objective: Do as many normal – and abnormal – things in 21 days as possible to find some good specimens.

Criteria: My ideal must a) demonstrate a high level of empathy; b) show universal reciprocity; c) balance the social norm with being his own person; d) be skilled at building harmony, both inner and outer. Experiment 1: Krishna love If someone is a vegetarian or vegan for religious reasons, is that good enough for me?

I ended up less sheepish about meeting him than I was about the fact that, unbeknownst to me, a large crowd had gathered to watch the whole thing! Exchanging nervous, non-promising light smiles and a quick hug, he and I exchanged names.


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